kids who change lives

1. Peace- freedom from disturbance and tranquility. 

   
   

   This past week has been such a great week. We only have 34 more days left of tour and I can tell that this last month will be my favorite. I still remember the first night I joined tour, I remember crying myself to sleep because I was so scared of what I was doing. Now I cry at the idea of what I am going to do once tour is over. My fears have changed from leaving my comfort of home to now leaving my comfort of being an auntie. What will I do when I don't have little girls to tuck into bed at night? What will I do when I don't meet new people every day? What will I do when I don't hear 'auntie' everyday. 

   
   

   Tonight I am in a house with a lady who is widowed. Knowing that her house would be quiet I wasn't sure how the girls would respond, would they be talkative or would they be quiet. I was placed with Naomi and Susan and they have been perfect. Yesterday when we showed up at the house the girls and I decided to go for a walk, but when our host couldn't join us we decided to join her on the front porch and rock. The girls played ball in the front yard while the host and I got to know each other. She told me all about he husband and how much she missed him. She loves him. They met in high school, she was 15 and he was 17 when they started dating and they got married when she was 20. She told me about how fun their marriage was and about how they dreamt of traveling when they retired. As she tells me story after story she points to the trees, that the girls were running around, and explains that her husband planted the trees when they moved to the house. She said that they were baby trees when he planted them and now she wonders if he can see how big they are. As we got ready to go inside I could still feel the love from the stories. Her heart was overflowing with the memories of the love. Not much longer after doing devotion we turned in for bed. 

   
   

   Today breakfast was good, my day was good (I was able to explore the city) and the concert was good. After the concert it was time for dinner, so she took us to the faithful McDonalds. As we sat around the table she asked the girls what food they missed the most since being here. She asked what their favorite memory was since being here and she asked more about their testimonies. My first thought: 'she is wonderful at asking question', she is asking good questions. My second thought: 'she has to be a writer.' Susan's favorite part of tour was learning to swim while Naomi's favorite part was meeting the new host and hearing their stories. Out current host, Ms. Janet, encouraged Naomi to write her stories down. She told her that she could see her being a writer someday, being that she already had a journal of stories from her previous host. Naomi giggled, but you could tell that she took the nugget of advice.
   
   When we arrived back at the house she told me that she was a writer, she said let me get you something and she brought me a copy of her published book. She told me that it was a book of stories. I told her about my book store hunt in each town and she said, "well here is you another book from Seymour" -- as we sat on the couch I started flipping through the pages and Naomi came out of the back room. I asked her if she knew who wrote the book, I pointed at Ms. Janet and Naomi seemed completely blown away. She inspired Naomi, she encouraged her and told her to keep writing. Naomi looked at her like she as seeing OneDirection for the first time. She just smiled and thanked her for her advice. Afterwards, the host handed her a book signed and Naomi walked off with tears in her eyes. Naomi told me that she would keep the book for the rest of her life. 

   
   

   I went to tuck the girls in tonight, Susan had her bible out and was reading Genesis 7-- she explained that she started reading her Bible start to finish and Naomi had out her journal so she could write about her experience. Each night I ask the kids that I tuck in I ask about their best part of the day. (the girls told me today that they know if they are at my house they think about it throughout the day) They told me their favorite parts and then I said the goodnight prayer. When I finished Naomi wanted to pray over me, they prayed for me and my heart for Uganda. She prayed for guidance (which is what I need right now)-- I kissed their cheeks and they kissed mine and as I walked into my bed room my heart nearly stopped beating. Naomi's life could have just been changed. This book could change her, change the way she writes and the way she thinks. But, the story is two sided- how did Naomi just touch this woman's life. This woman who has lived without the love of her life for 4 years. How much did that moment of pure joy in the living room mean to her heart. 

   
   

   These children inspire so many people. They touch lives is ways they will never understand. They grow daily, I look at some of them now compared to who they were when I first met them and I see adults. I see kids who have grown, spiritually, mentally and physically. These kids teach me things daily. They teach me to embrace small moments, to focus on the good and to appreciate tiny moments. When I say I don't know what I want to do after tour, I mean I don't know what I am going to do when they aren't here anymore- teaching me how life works. I miss them already and the girls are asleep in the next room. 

   
   

tour changes who you are

Its 5:00 in the afternoon on a Sunday and I am sitting at a host home, in a quiet room while Naomi sleeps on the bed across from me. Last night I had boys and this morning I learned that they are harder to get up than girls. I was going to go walk this morning, but I didn't have time so I went on the back porch at my host home and wrote. Then I went inside, straighten my hair and put on make up. I got dressed cute today for church, I was ready for the day. I was excited to go take pictures today in front of this really neat place I saw yesterday and I was ready to have a conference call for my mission team.

However, when I arrived at the church my plans changed quickly. Naomi was staying with Darya and being that Darya plays a big role in the concert, she couldn't leave with Naomi when she got sick. Unsure of what to do Darya was going to try and bring Naomi back to the host home to rest. This is when my day changed.  I ended up taking Naomi to her host home.

And I realized today just how much this tour changes your heart. Sure, I've mentioned that before, but today it was a real moment. A moment that I realized just how much it changes it. Today I put myself aside and came to another 'strangers' house to care for a child. Today I crawled into bed with a child who possibly has the stomach bug because she looked at me with sad eyes and said "Auntie, come lay with me, please." Today I was ready to catch throw up at any moment. Today I let her play every Frozen song on my phone. Today was the first Sunday my church live streamed their services, so today Naomi and I laid on the bottom bunk of bunk beds and I told her every persons name on stage and a story about each one.

When I say I realized just how much my heart has changed since being on tour I mean in the fact that a year ago I wouldn't dare go with a kid that is not my own to help her throw up. I wouldn't dare lay in the bed beside someone who was sick. I wouldn't dare stay at random peoples homes. Now that is all I know. All I know is people paying for my food, all I know is helping kids who are not technically my own. I say they are not my own, but if I love my own child half as much as I love these my heart is going to burst daily.

I met some people the other day who are homebuilders, I sat across the table from them after the concert and told them of my dream to build schools in other countries. I told them about my heart for Uganda and my dream there. As I was talking to them I teared up because I realized just how passionate I am about a country that I have only visited 3 times. I explained to them that I had no clue why I was on tour, the doors flew open so I jumped through them. Literally jumped. When I began explaining the people I had met along the way, the host husband looked at me and said, 'that is why your on tour, to meet people, to get connections' I had never really thought about it in that sense, sure I thought it was awesome that I was meeting all sorts of people. I met a woman about a  month ago who is a lawyer in D.C and while telling her my dream she told me that she would get informational interviews lined up for me, so I can ask people who fight for education in Uganda and ask any questions I like. I met a lady here who has been to Kenya, her heart is golden and every time we talk she ends up giving me huge pieces of advice without realizing. I have met a lady who reminds me that laughter is always a good thing, always. I have met a lady who lived in Uganda with her entire family for a year, we will be having lunch this week for me to ask her question after question.

As I checked my Facebook last night I got a message from my host, who are homebuilders that said 'WE ARE IN'-- my heart literally quit beating. I immediately started researching, I almost drew up the plans last night, but I stopped myself when I heard Jesus whisper (in the middle of my panic attack) --patience. I can't jump into something that major, yet. Yes, when the time is right and the doors open I will jump through the door, literally jump.

Today I knew that I had to get up early and write out my thoughts or my day would have only consisted of me trying to figure out how to get from step A to step Z in school planting. However, Jesus knew that I would need to be in every moment fully today. Today, while I laid in the room with Naomi, I would ask her stories about back home. I learned more about her and more about the country. She told me things that I will cherish for the rest of my life. I had a conference call today I was trying to leave the room so she could rest and she begged me to stay in the room. She joined me on the floor. We laid on the floor and exchanged more stories and giggles. In the evening she and I headed back to the church in the van, as I drove down country roads and let her control the radio. She looked at me with tears in her giant eyes and said "auntie, thank you for taking care of me today"--
Today, though not my plan, was one of my favorite days. I loved today and everything in entailed. I loved knowing that I was exactly where I am supposed to be. I loved knowing that I grew up a little. I learned a little more today about Jesus and his love. I learned a little more today about how to give up more of myself. My heart is full today.

Now to gather two boys who keep sneaking out of their beds and tuck them in for the seventh time tonight.

two months | written from the top bunk

Today marks two months since being on tour.

Today marks two month since I gave up the idea of straightening my hair before leaving the house.

Today marks two months since I've had a good salad.

Today marks two months since hugging my best friends

Today marks two months since seeing my cat

Today marks two months since I've driven my CR-V

Today marks two months that I haven't attended The Crossing 

Today marks two months since I've had my mommas cooking

Today marks two months since I taught my preschool class

Today marks two months that have changed my life forever. Today I drove from North Carolina to South while my 'co-pilot' Darya slept. During the drive Martin asked me if I was bored, I said "a little" and without hesitating he hit Darya and said "wake up, Auntie Callie is bored." I laughed because the the 12 passenger van that I was afraid to drive at the beginning of tour now feels more like my car then I imagine my CR-V will. 

We stayed at our 'vacation home' last night, the house we stayed at for the entire week during my first month, we stayed there to break up a 12 hour van ride. Their house feels more like home than anywhere else right now. We all dropped our bags at the foot of the stairs and went right back to the rooms we had the previous time we stayed.

I find myself carrying more about my kids laundry more than my own, except the other night when Brenda was in the shower and I forgot to ask her for hers before sending the rest of it up and boy, did she let me know it the next morning. 

My breakfast every single day consists of scrambled eggs, bacon, fruit, toast and 10 different jams, that awl came from a different family member. We either have Marteinelli's Apple Juice or Minute Maid Orange Juice. 

I find myself thinking a lot on the drives while all of my 'co-pilots' are asleep, thinking about what I would be doing if I were home or what I am going to do when tour is over. During my thoughts I hear Charles saying "quit worrying, what will happen will happen- enjoy right now. Are you breathing, are you on tour, are you happy? Then just be those things" 

I have found myself wondering if Jesus placed me on this tour just to tell me to go into healthcare, then I laugh when I imagine what a catheter looks like. I have massaged more sore muscles on this tour than I ever did while being an LMT. Tonight, Loyce (Joyce with an 'L') was complaining with a neck ache, so I made sure to get her in my house tonight. She screamed the entire time I tried to put ice on her neck- not okay screamed, like blood curling screams. I have been to the ER only to be told that a child has a stye, then wake up to doctor it while she screams every morning for the following week. I have checked a child for a concussion. I have rubbed heads that have headaches. I have caught throw up in a sweater and I gave my favorite jacket 'just in case' - I have been told by Naomi, while tucking her into bed one night, that I should be a doctor because I walk like one and I had a caring voice when she was sick that morning. I thought about it for 25 seconds, then figured out the years I'd be in school. 

As I finish this blog I am sitting on the top bunk of the bed, A child is asleep on the bottom bunk and there are porcelain dolls at eye level and the air vent is blowing my free little hairs because its so close to my head. The room smells like lavender and mint, due the oils I used to help Loyce's neck. Every three days, I am sleeping in a new bed, in a new house, I am hearing new stories and sleeping on different pillow. I am hot some nights and freezing others. Some homes don't have blinds over the windows and some home are underground. Some bedrooms don't have ceiling fans and some houses have rowdy animals. Some people don't say 5 words while you are there and some people don't let you say 5 words because their stories are more important. Some homes have 7 televisions and most don't have any. Some homes have pianos and some have deer heads. I read a quote once that said, " I am a mixture of every person I have ever met"-- if that is my case I am a mess. A giant mess.

Which is normal, what 22 years old would tell you that their life isn't a mess?  Someone told me last night that she is nearly 40 and she knows who she is, but she is getting use to herself still. My age is hard and I am not afraid to admit that. We are all trying to find our spot, to make our mark. I had someone one time tell me that I wasn't the typical first child. Unsure of what that meant, I asked only to get an answer that still would sting if I let it. I carried it for a long time worried that I didn't meet the standard, that I wasn't a good enough example for my sisters. Not too long after that comment another person asked me if I was done with school, I explained no and she sarcastically compared me to her daughter (who is about to graduate college) and asked me how my trip to China was. These are the comments that I have been in competition with for a couple of years now, but, I know now that I may not be the typical first child, I may have dropped my life to join this choir and I may not be graduating from college. The trip to China was never a thing, but the trip to Uganda happened and it continues to happen. I may not know what my life looks like when I get home, but over the past two months I have learned more than I would have sitting in a classroom. I learned more than what I would have if I let those comments continue to hold me back. 

This has been the best decision I have made in awhile. It wasn't made to impress anyone, to prove anything to anyone. It was a decision made to figure out who I was, to help shape what my next steps will look like and to be here, to be here fully. 

At the beginning of tour I wondered if I would be able to make any connections with the kids, I was nervous that I wouldn't be able to-- 

I received a note from one of our girls last night that told me I as her best. 

I had to switch Martin between my right hand and left hand in D.C. because a hot day only leads to sweaty hands

I can sit down by a child and without saying anything they grab my hand and tickle it (my favorite thing)

Tour changes people. These children change people. The road changes people. The 50+ host homes change people. And the talks I have with some of the host, who want to help me reach my goals in life- change people. 

thankful for the past two months. here is to the other half. 

save the books

I have started a new adventure, imagine that. This adventure is not one of my usual go outside adventures, this one is a bit different. This one has rules, its has choices, sometimes hard ones and it has searching, lots of searching.

I am on an adventure to find local book stores in every city I visit.

the rules:

1. It has to be LOCAL, not chain book stores.
2. I can only spend $8.00 on the book- no exceptions.
3. The book has to be something I am interested in or something that I can mail to a friend
4. On the front page of the book I have to write about the bookstore, the atmosphere, the music, the owner and the people I meet inside.
5. I can only buy one book


This didn't start at the beginning of tour, I wish it would have. It started when I found a book store/ coffee shop in downtown Camden, South Carolina. I went in to get coffee and look around a bit with the crew, but the coffee was good so I went back for more the next day. This day I was by myself so I had time to look around the store and actually look. The bookstore had their sale rack strategically placed by the coffee shop area. This meant that of course I looked, and I found my first book. I bought it to send to my friend back home, granted I still haven't sent it. \
[Behind the Beautiful Forevers]
The next day on the way out of the town, I stopped by the shop one last time. I found another book that reminded me of another friend back home. I bought if for cheap and started reading it that day. I still have to finish it before I mail it to her.
[Queen of the Water]


This was the start of the local book store adventure. On the front page of the book I write about the shop, what it looked like, what it smelled like and how the people were:

Book On Broad:
This was a good book store, one of my favorites so far. The smell of coffee was on point. Its a town that is rich in its history so there were older books in the front room on the tall shelves, there was a ladder that went up to the top, kind of like the ladder Belle went up in Beauty and the Beast. The second room had the newer books and little things for sell.

The second day I walked in I walking into an interview, I walked in unsure of why two people were sitting across the table from one another in the wide open, one with an apron on and a notepad and the other with perfect posture and a big smile. The only assumption was an interview, when the phone rang in the store the lady excused herself from the table and the girl with perfect posture seemed to take a breath that relieved all of her nervousness, she even did a little shake and a smile while she looked around the room.

The barista in the back room was really sweet, she knew exactly what kind of drink I wanted. The owner of the store was busy but, she was helpful when you needed her. The store was downtown, which made everything so much better. You could sit in a brown chair and watch the outside traffic go by, of course this is where I people watched before leaving.

The music in the store was calm, I don't recall it having any songs I know personally. If I recall correctly it was music that you'd hear in a usual book store.

Rainy Day Pals:
this book store was closed when I went by on the first try, which was fine. I just knew that I had to return the next day. The book store was in a old building, a really old building with other shops around it. There wasn't coffee in this store, just books and lots of them. The store was smaller and books lined every square inch of the store. When you walked in you could hear a mans voice, "Welcome," you could not see him due to books that were piled up on the check out counter, which hid him perfectly.  It was like his own little hideaway. Knowing what my mission was in this book store it was fun to try and find something, I decided to try and shop for a friend back home. This is another town rich in history and he loves America History. I was looking for something on George Washington, but couldn't find anything under $8- so I moved onto the next idea. I walked up and down multiple aisles, searching for the right book. There wasn't a sale rack here, just used books and a section of new books. I stayed near the used books, after searching for what seemed to be a rushed hour, simply because someone was waiting in the van. I found it near the register. It was called [The Bean Trees] when I went to check out the owner handed me another book by the same author, but it was too much.

As I was in this shop I saw a lady come in with bags of books, he announced her when she came in, he said "here is my Kentucky girl" - this lady would come to this store in South Carolina to trade in her books to get more books from the same store. When I say she had bags of books, I mean exactly that. She had at least 5 bags full of book. She carried them in and told about how she has to read every book before she brings them back to exchange them. She said that she hated the last one she read, but she started and knew she had to finish it before she started the drive from Kentucky to South Carolina.

There wasn't any music playing in the bookstore, you could just hear the humming of the owners hearing aid, which made it a store I wouldn't forget. The man was kind, "Kentucky girl" had dedication and the books were piled high.

The Book Tavern:
The best book store I have ever been in, ever. You could tell the owner was younger just by the way the book store was decorated-- cool art pieces around the store, antique shelf in the corner that held books of the cities history and outside there was a sitting area that had sell racks all around.

The owner walked from the back room with a beard, glasses you'd only find an old man or a indie music listener. I am only saying this because the music in the shop was nothing short of The Head and the Heart, the occasional Norah Jones and classical music. He was mentioning to another worker that the town lost an important person in the town, a regular costumer who would come in and bring his used books in. His exact words, "its a sad day for The Book Tavern" --

At this point in this book store journey I am learning how to search, I knew that I wanted something outside of my regular plot. I walked around the book store and pulled out the books that seemed interesting, I check the back for the price and put it back if it was too much. I found a couple downstairs and pulled them out a tiny bit to keep the place marker. Then I walked upstairs to find the adventure section, my favorite section. I found the book after one of my favorite movies, Wild. I picked it up with joy, because I knew that this would be the one. It was $9.50- I placed it back and got laughed at by my friend because I couldn't break the rule, sure I could break the rule but there is no fun in that.

The books in the store are used mostly, of course some of them are new, but that is the section downstairs in the middle. I could have spent hours in the bookstore. I decided to walk outside and scroll through the sale racks before making my final decision. Lindsay, the girl who was with me picked up a book and said "found your book" -- It was a book telling different stories about homeless women around a big city. It was only $4.50- this was perfect.
[Tell Them Who I Am]

As I walked up to the check out I saw the different people in there, one girl buying children's books, she had to be a teacher or collecting for her soon to be classroom. The next guy, was wearing an outdoors shirt and was buying two books that I couldn't see the title of- however, he was known in the store as the owner said "thanks, Seth."

Statesville, North Carolina
I searched the city for a book store, searched and searched and couldn't find one anywhere. The downtown area was cute and you would think that there would be a great place for a book store, but there was only a little store called Lesters Books-- I tried to walk in on the first day we were in town only for it to be closed. We decided to return the next day to try again, I showed up about 11 and the door was opened, so we walked in. The place look abandoned, there were shelves, but the books were on the floor in boxes. A man came out from the back room and told us that Lester wasn't here at the time, he was in the process of moving things from the old store to the new store.

He explained that Lester was an 85 year old man and he didn't have much help moving his things from one store to the next, he was telling about Lesters obsession with Sherlock Holmes-- he even had a place set up in the store that was designated just to Mr. Holmes himself. The guy who showed us around was explaining that Lester serves hot tea to his costumers. I asked how long the moving had been underway and he said for about three weeks, looking around it looked like the first day of moving. I asked if he had any help and he said that Lester had some people tell him they would help, but they ended up standing him up.

I dont understand why people wouldn't want to help him move his book store, its the last one in their city. As the man was talking to us yesterday he said something profound during his rant about book store, "books are becoming extinct." This is sad, but true.

This adventure is helping me, its showing me to explore new cities. Its showing me that sometimes choices are hard (even in the minor things) and its showing me that books store are awesome, its showing me that books are coming extinct and its a sad thing. I love holding a book, love it.
save the books.

I will be posting about my books along the way. This may be something I continue for the rest of my life--