Tour | Day 20

Today I want to be home more than anything. This morning I woke up late and rushed the girls to get dressed so that we could be downstairs for breakfast soon. After breakfast I got a text from my mom talking about her sending me a picture soon, but not to freak out. This is not something you want to hear while you are at a strangers house, eating breakfast. I respond and get pictures of my dads truck flipped over in a ditch. She told me he was fine, but for one second my heart quit beating. I had to hold back tears and excuse myself to the upstairs. I called my dad to find out what happened. He explained the story about a dog who ran out in front of him, only making him swerve to miss the dog and land in a ditch full of water. He was okay and was heading to work still, just in another truck. He is a strong man. And this morning for a second I imagined what my life what be like if something else happened. 

During quiet time this morning I wrote in my journal a lot- here goes a journal entry:

"Today I want to be home. I want to be sitting in my mommas bed with my cat. I want to watch Netflix. I want to be with my best friend, Jordan. I want to see her speak tomorrow at the Rescue Mission. I want to have breakfast at memaw and pepaws. I miss Caroline's labeled food and Camaryn's record player.  I even miss Stella, the yorkie that is known as my mothers shadow.  I miss a lot of things today. But then I look around the room to see a room full of children that I would miss. 

My thoughts are scattered this morning I think about my life and what I would be doing if I were home, how I would have handled the phone call at 4am about my dad. I would have panicked, put on my rain boots (but would have settled for my uggs) I get in the car with my momma and we ahead to the site, I hug my daddy with tears that he is okay, then I cancel my day (classes and lunch with a friend) to ride to Vero Beach with him-- I call TJ during the process to tell him all about it. Then I sleep in the car, wake up talk to my daddy, we have lunch and I post a picture on Instagram about our day. 

But my actual day is this:

I woke up to my African drum ringtone, snoozed 3 times, woke up the girls (Concy & Brenda N.) I washed Brenda's eye from the blood built up (from a style), I get dressed quick, bring laundry upstairs, rushed the girls, wash my face, eat breakfast with strangers, rush the girls again, load the car, get excited about knowing I have a ham and cheese sandwich for lunch vs. a PB&J. & of course I have the pictures of my dads accident on my mind all morning. I show up at the church say "good morning," get 18 hugs, take Rebecca to get her shoes out of the blue van, tell Darya about my dad, check on Brendas eye and now I am laying on the floor during devotion. 

Its wild to think how differently my days would be. I am still happy here, I am just wanting to be home today. I want to hug my daddy. 

I am here, partially."

As we went into the devotion, I thought for sure that I was okay. The verse was John 16: 20-23

Basically, the verse talks about sorrow turning into joy. After the verse was read, Wendy talked about why she chose that verse and the she asked if anything needed to be added. I told the chaperones about my dad and cried as I told them that I felt so alone this morning, but then during the choir singing Amazing Grace-- I saw the children. I saw them praising Jesus for their life, for their opportunity to be here. They do not know what their family does everyday. They have no idea if their family has been in car accidents or if their parents won the lottery. But, they are here living life and being obedient. 

They amaze me daily. My daddy is okay. His truck my not be, but he is okay.  I am thankful for that, I am thankful for his safety and that Jesus chose him to be my daddy. I couldn't ask for a better one.