Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Why I Go reason number 1: "Choosing Risk Over Regret"

I have not written in awhile.

1. Because school started back
2. Because school started back
3. Because school started back

On the break, I read and didn't really give myself time to write. I took a ton of pictures, and wrote a lot of draft blogs, but did not post many. This is my first one in a bit. So here goes.

As many of you may know, I got the opportunity to co-lead a trip to Uganda last summer. It was one of my favorite experiences so far. However, this summer I will actually get to LEAD a trip-- and whoa. I still don't think its 100% real. I had a meeting last Sunday with people around town who have shown an interest in going. I talked a whole lot, I shared about my past experiences and I cracked a few jokes out of nervousness. I let people ask questions and I actually knew the answers. It felt nice to know what I was talking about and to be passionate about what I was talking about.

As of right now I have 3 sign ups and 3 more coming. I cannot wait to start fundraising and telling every person I pass that I am going to Africa and give them a huge list of fundraising events. I know that I ramble on with the post about Africa sometimes, but its my heart. It's part of my calling and with that being said: here is reason number one why I go.

I go because 'I choose risk over regret' -Marcus, IC Roadie

When I was 15,  I dreamt of being a roadie with a mega non-profit called Invisible Children. I knew that they helped kiddos get an education by building school and providing sponsorship programs. I knew these people had good hearts and the documentary changed my heart. I do not know why I was weeping a the thought of children having to walk miles to sleep in safety or why I was talking about children I'd never met before, but I was. I consumed my life with Invisible Children, I watched videos posted by Roadies who were currently traveling the United States and sharing their days through videos, blogs and pictures. There was one video that I still dig through YouTube to find every now and then, it's by a guy named Marcus. It starts with super indie music, he talks about his experiences and then he ends the video by saying "  I choose risk over regret" ---


It was like I'd just heard my name for the first time. I was done, begin afraid. I was done living in the shadows. I had decided that it was time to take risk, (I never meant crazy, illegal risk-- just risk that helped me grow as a person.) I made a list of things I wanted to do and I added things and took things away whenever I wanted. && Then real life hit.

I was set in my ways. I was a massage therapist, I wanted to live in the big city. I wanted to get married have two kids, be a massage therapist until my husband could support me. (I read this now and laugh) I wanted things that everyone else wanted. I never knew what I wanted. I never chose risk over regret, well I did, but not the good kind of risks. I was sitting at work one day and I was sick of being frozen. I wanted something different so I looked into trips to Uganda, to see those kiddos that I had so easily pushed to the back of my mind. I found a trip and within 2 days I was signed up. It was the first big thing I'd ever done. I was so excited-- and when it fell through, I was devastated. Not only did the trip fall through, not only was I going to mark something off of my list of things to do before I die, but now the one time I chose risk over regret I was left feeling like an idiot.

However, I picked myself back up and looked for another trip. I found Visiting Orphans, asked a best friend and within a week we were both signed up and our first fundraiser was already planned. It was a lot of work, so much in fact that the idea of it actually happening didn't hit me until I was on the plane. It wasn't a good feeling either, I was more nervous in that moment on the plane than I was walking across the stage at graduation in front of 5,000 people. But, I did it. I went to Africa. I went to Uganda. I saw children. I saw schools. I saw water wells. I saw Jesus for the first time in my life. I found my calling. I found who I was. I found best friends. I found a little girl who stole my heart.

I went because I chose risk over regret. I went because Jesus knew that was where I'd find Him. He found me way, way before I even thought about looking for Him. But, the second I found Him, I forgot what it was like not knowing Him. I forgot about my messy past, my heartbreaks, my hurt and I remembered playing ball with a few girls in Africa and literally feeling my walls come down. I remember how my sweet Joseani's hands felt in mine. And its all because I chose the risk of what could happen in Uganda on that first trip, over my past regrets.


Reason #1
Why I Go : I choose risk over regret












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