Monday, November 24, 2014

that time I was reminded of my calling

I have not had the chance to blog in awhile, like actually sit down and write. I have so many ideas throughout my day that I write them all out on a notepad on my phone. So here is a blog to catch things up a bit.

I almost changed my major to photography.
I almost applied for a job in Birmingham.
I started a job at the writing center on campus.
I became friends with a really good bunch of guys, who have a band--Immerse.
We planned a benefit show Kasee (who has to have the brain surgery).
I decided not to change my major.
I have had a bunch of photoshoots.
I lost my camera charger.
I have been happy.
I have cried while listening to Taylor Swift.
I have had dance parties in the kitchen.
I have had craft night, movie night and wing night.
I even had a black out poetry night.
I tried a grilled cheese at Chick Fil A.
I ate dinner with one of my best friend home for Thanksgiving.
I taught my preschool kiddos.
I remembered why I didn't change my major.

This list could go on and on, but I will stop it there. I will stop it there because the last point that I wrote is the most important in this post. I seriously considered changing my major to photography.I was telling people that it changed, I was practicing taking pictures and editing them, I was even looking for jobs in the specific field. I was tired of school and I did not want to spend the rest of my life in a classroom. So I was throwing in the flag. I went to a show in Birmingham and could have easily applied for the in-house photographer position. I would be taking pictures of bands, I could live with my cousin, I could be happy-- I would love it. I was set on it, until I had lunch with my pastor the next day to tell him the big plan. He listened while I told him all about my plan and how it aligned with what I wanted to be when I was in high school. Then he said "sometimes we have to let that past person die to let the new person live, and fully live in the calling God has for our life"--- I wanted to scream and leave, but I stayed and listened because he knew what that meant.

A few hours passed and we got to Rescue Mission to serve our once a month dinner, the doors opened and a little girl came straight to me. She walked up, hugged me and introduced herself. I listened while she talked and talked. She got her plate and walked to her table-- I turned around and looked at my pastor while he just grinned. As the night went on I walked by her table and she begged me to sit beside her, of course I did. She smiled and giggled. I listened to her tell stories. I watched her mom and little brother all giggle while they told stories of staying up late and eating too much candy. I left the Rescue Mission, only for my pastor to look at me and say 'don't you have a gig to be taking pictures at or something.' Like a ton of brick, literally it hit me -- if I quit school, I am not giving up on my dream. I would be giving up on the kids. --

My heart was reminded of what I was placed here for that night. Sure, I may write multiple other post during the next two years telling you all how much I want to quit and run away from it, but I won't run away. I cannot give up on those kiddos. I can't give up on my future students who need good influences in their life. I want to teach the children that nobody wants to teach. I want to teach in inner-city schools, I want to love those children when nobody else will. Yes, it will be hard, but it will be all worth it just to know that I kept one child off the streets. That I helped one child feel what love really is.

Part of this story is that the little girl -- Deanna, who reminded me of my calling the night at the Rescue Mission reminds me of my sweet Joseani in Africa, and the best part is-- I get to see Deanna every week. I get to see her tomorrow actually and hear her shout "Ms.Callie" while she runs to hug me. While I long to hear Joseani sing 'Jesus Loves Me'-- I get tell her all about Deanna when we talk on Facebook. Maybe someday they can meet each other. Those are the moments that keep me pushing towards that big dream. The dream of walking into my classroom the very first day of school, with sweaty palms I will get to say 'Hey, I am your teacher Ms. Callie" (maybe I can go by that, my last name is a tough one)
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The photography dream is still in the works. Currently, I have photo-shoots lined up. I have 4 booked and I have an awesome friend who is helping me start up a website. It's not been he easiest thing sitting behind this bulky old computer while editing pictures, but I've had How I Met Your Mother and Disney movies to help me through. I hope to launch the site by tomorrow night. It will be a blog of the sessions I do. It's a fun activity I have outside of school and work. It's a good time.

I am looking forward to sharing it with you guys.


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