Kasee

She is an inspiration. I remember the first time I met her, well, I say the first time I met her-- the first time I remember meeting her. We were at church. I had seen her in passing, but this time I had to talk to her. So I walked up, introduced myself, and said "hey, lets have lunch this week to talk about Africa."

That lunch changed it all.

We talked and talked about life. We shared stories about our mission trips, we showed pictures, we laughed, and we cried. I remember later that week we had our first hammock date and again, we talked and talked. It was like we'd known each other forever. She has a way of making people feel comfortable and a way of listening to people so well. Her heart is golden and Jesus placed her in my life at the perfect time.

Her name is Kasee.
She is one of the strongest people I know. I laugh as I write some of this stuff because honestly, I can't begin to tell you about our memories. I would have to write a book. I remember telling Kasee about a prayer meeting that we had before leaving on my first trip in 2012. I told her all about a girl who prayed over me and how much the prayer meant. I remembered the prayer perfectly "I feel like God is wanting you to know that when you get to Africa, you are going to hug those little girls and they are going to feel like princesses, your hugs will remind them of their beauty"-- in my head I was going to Africa to play with the little boys. I got to Africa, only to be surrounded by little girls, I never had a little boy the entire trip. I knew that prayer deemed true. I remember telling her all about it and telling her that I had no clue who prayed it, but it meant so much. She looked up at me and said 'I did.' It was real. This friendship was from Jesus and he kept showing us in the funniest ways.

When Kasee and I became friends, we became friends fast. She would stay at my house all the time. She was engaged to her now husband, Higgins, and she was about to start a nursing job. I was working part time so this made for plenty of sleepovers and sleepovers turned into pulling all nighters to watch New Girl. It was magical.

I remember when I asked Kasee to house sit with me. The house was huge and the two boys were pre-teens. They wanted nothing to do with anything besides video games and playing outside. I got lonely in that huge house, quick. She was there minutes after I complained about how lonely I was. That night she sat down beside me and handed me an envelope and just smiled. I looked confused and I think I asked if she was breaking up with me. She of course laughed and told me to open it. It was a little letter asking me to be in her wedding. Her wedding. The most important day of her life she wanted me, someone she'd only known for 3 months, to be in her wedding. Funny thing is, the wedding was 2 months away. We got my dress fitted, my shoes, my earrings, and I was in her wedding.

There are seriously so many special moments with Kasee - so many. I can't list some without crying. She helped me through something I didn't think I would make it through. She reminds me of my beauty at least three times a week with just a text that says 'you're beautiful'. She is there anytime I need her; she is one of the bravest people I know; and I don't say that lightly. She's helped me see things in a different light; she has taught me so much about Jesus.

Recently, Kasee started complaining about headaches that she couldn't shake. It then turned into double vision, facial pain, numbness, nausea, and dizziness. We thought it was from the stress of starting a new job and moving into their new home, but the symptoms got worse. She decided to see a physician here in town which then lead her to seeing several other doctors. There was one doctor who told her it was a cystic tumor, but he basically had no clue how to fix it. She honestly had lost hope. Who wouldn't? Then she was directed to a Neurosurgeon in California who specializes in these types of tumors. This past week she had a phone interview set up with him to talk about her MRI.With no hesitation, he told her he could help her. He told her all about the cyst and explained it to her in such a caring way. He explained that the cyst is pressing against vital areas of the brain that could cause major damage and be detrimental.It is located near the pineal glad, which is in the dead center of her brain. This surgery is almost mandatory.

She told me this while she sat across from me on my couch yesterday.(The night before when we were watching New Girl on Netflix, we would text each other when to hit play and text about it like we were both sitting on the couch at my house watching it together). She sat on the couch and said, "I have to have the surgery. Higgins and I have to fly to California for me to have brain surgery." I listened to her list the seven thousand things she had going on in her mind. She listed things from Higgins having to take off work, to her not wanting to let her boss down, to how will we fly out there, to her family, to her mom, to her sister. She never once said anything about herself. She didn't tell me about how nervous she was or how upset she was. She still had a peace about her. It is a peace straight from Jesus. She said that she knew she would be fine, she was just worried about how everyone else was going to be. This time while sitting on the couch-- we'd switched seats, literally. We have our usual spots on the couch, but they flipped this time. I was the one listening to her talk about the surgery and talk about how her husband and family will deal.  But then at the end of the conversation she said her usual "I'm going to be okay."

She is going to be okay.The doctors know what they are doing. Not only do those doctors know what they are doing, but Jesus, her creator, knows what he is doing and that is the most beautiful part of this mess.

Kasee and Higgins are still waiting to hear back from the insurance company to see what will be covered. However, they know what won't be covered already.  This includes the airfare, hotel, and meals. They will both be out of work. Kasee for at least 3 months and Higgins about 2 weeks. With this page, they are hoping to raise money for this unexpected journey.

Kasee was the first person I ever wrote a blog about, I just never posted it. It is in a book I have at my house, I never really knew why I didn't transfer the pictures and the blog. Maybe, its because Jesus knew that I would have the privilege to write something this special one day.

http://www.gofundme.com/kaseem

To hear their story click below: 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=C_Mym4Fcauk

bravery

As I mentioned yesterday, I'm reading a book called "let's all be brave"-- her story telling is top notch. The book talks about bravery. It talks about doing those things that make you nervous, she's had a few in her life. So far in the book, her biggest was her move to Nashville. She mentions weeping the whole car ride there because her fear of the unknown. 

Her writing style reminds me so much of what I want mine to be like someday. I have realized that writing takes practice just like anything else, the other night I pulled out journals from the past, I laughed while reading them. While listening to how I put sentences together and explained certain things. Now looking at my blogs, I laugh when I compare them to others writing. I know it's a process and I'm glad I'm working on it. 

Back to the book- 

While sitting in my hammock today, of course it's fall outside, I decided to take my book. I've had it for a few months but I haven't had a break to read it due to schoolwork, but today I was going to leisure read. As, i read I learned a couple of things about me:

1. I only really read things that inspire me.

2. I only read things where the author connects with me. (Bob Goff gave me his phone number at the end of Love Does & Annie Downs tells me she will sing the song when she sees me someday) 

While learning these two things, I realize what type of writer I want to be, whether that be blogging, books, magazines, articles- anything. I want to connect to people. I want people to know that I am not a hot shot who has it all together. I will talk about my failures, I will talk about my valleys and my mountains. I will be transparent. 

Again back to the book- 

While reading about this book of bravery I tried to ask myself if I've done anything brave? Have I? This girl is packing up her life and moving to Nashville because God told her to, she has no clue what will happen there, but she goes. It's inspiring, it makes me want to pack my bag and head out. So, again I'm back to the question have I done anything brave? 

I went to Africa. I'd be lying if I told you that I wasn't nervous. My friend almost wasn't able to go and I was about to back out. I was not going by myself. There was no way. (Of course we both got to go) On the plane, his excitement was like a 4 year old on Christmas morning and while I looked out the window holding back tears I said "I can't talk about or I will throw up." I was scared. Even when we landed in Ethopia, I noticed the toilets didn't flush and I was ready to go home. I was not feeling well, I didn't know my team, I wanted my momma and I needed to call her. Shocker: I couldn't go home. My phone didn't work overseas. It was time to get over it. It was time do realize that Jesus placed me here for a reason, no matter what that reason may be. 

Two days later, I wasn't going home. Nobody was making me. Just joking I went home, only for my life to be wrecked and Africa to be a part of my life. 

Was that considered bravery? I'm gonna say yes. Yes. It was bravery to sign up for a trip to go to a place I had only watched documentaries on. Yes. It was bravery that allowed me to put my desires aside and listen to God and learning how he communicates with me. It was bravery when I prayed over someone out loud for the first time, ever. It was bravery when I went without a friend the second trip. It was bravery that I met people with no hesitation and was able to say "I drop prayers like they are hot."

And it was bravery that led me to leadership training, even though I almost wasn't able to go due to my car breaking down and gas money. But I got there and sat in a room full of leaders who were ready to change the world. 

It was bravery when I signed up for the world race. 

It was bravery when I turned it down after being accepted. 

It was bravery when I co-lead a trip to Uganda. 

&& it's bravery that is going to allow me to lead a trip this summer to Uganda. 

There are so many more brave moments that I could list, but these ones listed are a domino effect from that first trip. That first plane ride. I honestly think about that moment every time I board a plane. The one where I say "I can think about it or I will throw up."

 

It's hilarious to see how much Jesus has me, how much he loves me and how brave he makes me. 

I wanna steal Annie's flow and tell you to be brave, tell you to do that one thingthat  you've always dreamt of doing, but let her tell you. Please go buy her book:: it's so beautiful. 

 

a challenge-- 31 days

31 day writing challenge.
Day 2-- http://alifethatisnolongermine.blogspot.com/2014/10/bravery.html

Day 3-- http://alifethatisnolongermine.blogspot.com/2014/10/kasee.html

Day 4-- I wrote one, but I am too chicken to post it.

Day 5-- http://alifethatisnolongermine.blogspot.com/2014/10/late-night-rambling.html

Day 6--

http://alifethatisnolongermine.blogspot.com/2014/10/tonight-was-all-about-pepaw.html

I am not sure how this will turn out, but we will try it. I read in a book once that if you want to be a writer you have to write at least once a day. She mentioned in the book, that she started as a blogger and then pushed herself to write everyday, only leading her to write her book 'Lets All Be Brave," its a beautiful book. I laugh sometimes while reading it because our writing style is a lot alike.

Now to get back on track, My friend Lindsay came to visit about a week ago and she told me all about the 31 day writing challenge. So we told each other we would do it and hold each other accountable for doing them each day. www.thenester.com , a blog she follows, encourages the 31 day writing challenge and she gets an incredible turn out.  I haven't read much of her stuff, but if anyone can challenge people around the world to write the thoughts out for 31 days. I am a fan. I love that this is pushing some people and this is a walk in the park to others. This will be a push for me, but I am ready to take it. I am excited to see what I learn about myself while writing and having to post it everyday for the month of October. I missed yesterday. We will start with October 1.

Day 1

a week ago today, we went to the Rescue Mission, its a homeless shelter here in town. It houses about 75 people, men, women and families. The first time I visited I remember thinking about how much of an orphanage it was like, the place was clean, the people were super friendly, but it was a home for people who didn't have anyone in this world. Who, in societies eyes, have hit the bottom. The realness of this thought is though, we went to take a tour of the shelter about 2 in the afternoon and the rooms were empty. They were all at work. They are trying to change their living situations because I am sure they hate being viewed as 'homeless.'

Last Thursday, we were on the schedule to provide dinner and a small service. During lunch with the man who is the overseer of the outreach program, he asked me to speak at the Rescue Mission. I told him that there was no way. I told him that he could do it or I could find someone else, but he insisted. Seriously, he would not let me say no. He was asking someone who did not pray out loud 2 years before, talking to someone who gets anxiety just looking at the microphone. No way was I going to do this.

Thursday rolled around and my 'message' was written. I am not exactly sure what to call it. It wasn't a sermon and it wasn't necessarily a message. It was just me talking. Throughout the week, I was worried about what to talk on, I didn't want to come in and speak the same message they hear every week and then leave only hoping that they understood it that time. Sure, speaking hope and encouragement into their life is so powerful, but when does the rubber meets the road? When do we stop just standing in front of them speaking on hope and actually let them see the hope in their own lives. While, I prepared, I found myself getting upset because I had a million thoughts and no way to put them on paper. My audience was different this time, I spoke at a woman's retreat once, I talked about my mission trip to Africa, but this time I couldn't just talk about going on mission trips, I couldn't talk about the intense level of poverty. I was having to readjust my mindset, instead of telling people to go love on the less fortunate-- I was speaking to the less fortunate.

The worship set was coming to a close. I sat in the very back and said 'Jesus, you know I can't do this. You know that I can't do this alone." I walked up to the podium, which I promised myself I wouldn't stand behind. Its too intimidating. I placed my bible and notes on the podium and opened us in prayer. My first words were  "Hey, I am Callie and I am nervous"-- I explained to them that I am not a pastor, that I am not a speaker, but that I am a writer. I talked about my blog and then read them something that I wrote, after that it was like an outer body experience. I didn't remember anything. However,  I do know that I mentioned Joseani and how she changed my life, I told them of their worth, but the most important thing I did, was pass out note cards and challenge them.

I had the guys in the back help me, I passed out note cards, pens and told each of them to write down their passions, write down what they think they are on this earth for. I watched them all write, I watched them smile as they wrote, I watched them giggle, some got teary eyed and some would look at me smile and then look back at their card. They wrote their hearts on a note card. After the note cards were filled out, I told them to keep them. I told them it was to remind them of their importance. I read Ephesians 2:10 and expressed to them they are so beautiful in Jesus' eyes.

As I finished up, I apparently was so confident up there that I cued the band to come back up and had a line for prayer. I watched at two women sat at their table and wept. I told them that everyone has a story. I want to hear theirs. I want to know their story. We all should want to know their story.

I walked to one of the ladies at the end of the night and she embraced me in such a loving hug. She told me that I helped her, she talked for a bit and then I had the opportunity to pray for her. I noticed that there was another lady waiting behind her. She hugged me and started crying-- I prayed for her and all she could say was 'thank you.'

That night changed my life. Its funny how things work like that, you go somewhere or do something huge to help people and what happens is they help you more than you can ever imagine helping them. 

Every one of the people in the shelter have a story, they didn't intend on ending up at the homeless shelter, but they did. They are not defined by their living situations.



I have a previous blog about my first time there--  http://alifethatisnolongermine.blogspot.com/2014/05/a-night-with-meaning_23.html