bravery

As I mentioned yesterday, I'm reading a book called "let's all be brave"-- her story telling is top notch. The book talks about bravery. It talks about doing those things that make you nervous, she's had a few in her life. So far in the book, her biggest was her move to Nashville. She mentions weeping the whole car ride there because her fear of the unknown. 

Her writing style reminds me so much of what I want mine to be like someday. I have realized that writing takes practice just like anything else, the other night I pulled out journals from the past, I laughed while reading them. While listening to how I put sentences together and explained certain things. Now looking at my blogs, I laugh when I compare them to others writing. I know it's a process and I'm glad I'm working on it. 

Back to the book- 

While sitting in my hammock today, of course it's fall outside, I decided to take my book. I've had it for a few months but I haven't had a break to read it due to schoolwork, but today I was going to leisure read. As, i read I learned a couple of things about me:

1. I only really read things that inspire me.

2. I only read things where the author connects with me. (Bob Goff gave me his phone number at the end of Love Does & Annie Downs tells me she will sing the song when she sees me someday) 

While learning these two things, I realize what type of writer I want to be, whether that be blogging, books, magazines, articles- anything. I want to connect to people. I want people to know that I am not a hot shot who has it all together. I will talk about my failures, I will talk about my valleys and my mountains. I will be transparent. 

Again back to the book- 

While reading about this book of bravery I tried to ask myself if I've done anything brave? Have I? This girl is packing up her life and moving to Nashville because God told her to, she has no clue what will happen there, but she goes. It's inspiring, it makes me want to pack my bag and head out. So, again I'm back to the question have I done anything brave? 

I went to Africa. I'd be lying if I told you that I wasn't nervous. My friend almost wasn't able to go and I was about to back out. I was not going by myself. There was no way. (Of course we both got to go) On the plane, his excitement was like a 4 year old on Christmas morning and while I looked out the window holding back tears I said "I can't talk about or I will throw up." I was scared. Even when we landed in Ethopia, I noticed the toilets didn't flush and I was ready to go home. I was not feeling well, I didn't know my team, I wanted my momma and I needed to call her. Shocker: I couldn't go home. My phone didn't work overseas. It was time to get over it. It was time do realize that Jesus placed me here for a reason, no matter what that reason may be. 

Two days later, I wasn't going home. Nobody was making me. Just joking I went home, only for my life to be wrecked and Africa to be a part of my life. 

Was that considered bravery? I'm gonna say yes. Yes. It was bravery to sign up for a trip to go to a place I had only watched documentaries on. Yes. It was bravery that allowed me to put my desires aside and listen to God and learning how he communicates with me. It was bravery when I prayed over someone out loud for the first time, ever. It was bravery when I went without a friend the second trip. It was bravery that I met people with no hesitation and was able to say "I drop prayers like they are hot."

And it was bravery that led me to leadership training, even though I almost wasn't able to go due to my car breaking down and gas money. But I got there and sat in a room full of leaders who were ready to change the world. 

It was bravery when I signed up for the world race. 

It was bravery when I turned it down after being accepted. 

It was bravery when I co-lead a trip to Uganda. 

&& it's bravery that is going to allow me to lead a trip this summer to Uganda. 

There are so many more brave moments that I could list, but these ones listed are a domino effect from that first trip. That first plane ride. I honestly think about that moment every time I board a plane. The one where I say "I can think about it or I will throw up."

 

It's hilarious to see how much Jesus has me, how much he loves me and how brave he makes me. 

I wanna steal Annie's flow and tell you to be brave, tell you to do that one thingthat  you've always dreamt of doing, but let her tell you. Please go buy her book:: it's so beautiful.