I'm a Child of God, Yes I am

We have another blog that we are supposed to use for adoption updates, well not supposed to I mean we just said that we would use that one. But this one feels like home to me, this one is one that I started when I was in a completely different season of life - a season where this chapter seemed so far away, but now I am here and going back to read old post makes me giggle because I can hear God so much in my own words, I can hear Him in the periods behind sentences, telling me to, ' be calm.' He did have me and He does have me. I think that is something that I heard over and over this weekend.

We had a worship night with our church and another local church Sunday night and WOW, God showed up and showed out. I told Alejandro the other day that one song that resonates so deeply with me right now, is -'Who You Say I Am' but Hillsong. Amber, who is on our worship team at church and pregnant with twins sings it from the bottom of her heart and I feel it in my bones. I cried when she sang it a couple weeks ago and told Alejandro that I wanted it to be written on a sign for a babies room -  "In my fathers house theres a place for me, I'm a child of God, yes I am." Over the weekend it played twice and both times, I knew it was for me. I knew it was the Lord telling me to, 'just trust Him.'  The first time was Saturday morning at 7:30am. We serve at the Harbor on Saturday mornings, we wanted to cook pancakes on the food truck - we got home at midnight from Foster Fest and decided that the grill wouldn't work for the pancakes so we got up at 5am to cook 240 pancakes on griddles and the stovetop. It was fun to see us work as zombies in the kitchen while one of our pups was licking up the things we dropped on the floor and the other one was still asleep (a girl after my own heart.)  I was discouraged when we got to the Harbor because I thought there would be more volunteers and I was just so tired, I got over it quickly when I saw who was there and how willing and ready they were to serve. We all started Harbor orientation for the day and they played our babies song. I knew then that I was where I was supposed to be. Then Sunday night rolled around and we did the worship night, I have never been so pumped for Heaven. Amber sang this song and it all happened again - its an overwhelming joy feeling - you know the one that makes you giggle while you have tears streaming down your face. 

Many of you know we are adopting, we are working hard to fundraise and we have been overwhelmed by the support we have been given. We started a food truck to help us fundraise - a food truck is so much fun and so tiring all in the same breath. We have done multiple events and every time we are set up, I hear at least one person say, "I saw that you guys are doing this for your adoption so we came out just to support you guys." 

Right now we are in the part in the process that I have read about on blogs and been told about - we are antsy, a little bit. I think about our baby multiple times a day. I think that the long nights prepping and early mornings rising for food truck days are preparing us for a baby. I have dreams about our baby. I pray for our baby's birth mother. We talk about what we will name our baby. We talk about what they will look like. We talk about what their room will look like. We are trying to decide what step to take - we know that a consult would be good, but we know it adds more money to the cost. We know an agency would be good. but some don't work with parents who aren't both US citizens and some won't work with couples unless they deal with infertility. 

Our dream with adoption is to stand in the gap for a mama who cannot afford to take care of her baby. A mama who is willing to put her heart aside and understand that her baby needs a home life outside of the cycle. We are applying fro grants, we are researching consultants and agencies daily. 

We are thankful. We are antsy. We are ready. We are praying. We are fundraising. We are researching. We are excited. We are nervous. We are thankful, again.


Heres an old blog post for 2014:
https://alifethatisnolongermine.blogspot.com/2014/07/adoption.html