Cal & Al

I’ve always heard that you know when you meet the person you will marry. That’s not always true. When I met Al, I knew something was there but I was unsure what. I felt upset when I heard that there was someone else he was interested in, but I quickly got over it because I knew that I didn’t like him. I knew he had a heart for missions and that’s what I found attractive in anyone. However, I did not like him I knew that. I went on about my life, I needed the season to heal to find myself and I did just those things. Two months after meeting Al, I got offered a position to move to Uganda to help build schools with the ministry he worked with (a dream that burned in my heart since 2009.) I took it. I knew that was where God took me, I knew that’s why I was on tour. I went back and forth with lots of questions - but deep down I knew. We would all move in 2016. It wasn’t until that month that I got his number. He text the group saying, “praying for you guys.” I think it was about three months later before we had our first conversation privately. He told me to try watching Parks, I did and most of our talks were about that. I appreciated his friendship, it was something I needed in the season of getting ready to move. I would often say, “you better not catch feelings because I am not that girl.” And I so wasn’t, I was in such a good season of being single that the idea of being in a relationship made me panic. I knew that I had to be single to actually do this giant move. In the fall of 2015, Alejandro came to Dothan to visit. We watched Parks, went to the fair and he met my best friends. Once I thought he liked me and I went to my house for 10 mins and left him in my parents - I DID NOT WANT TO LIKE HIM. He came back again in January to be my date to my sisters wedding, he taught me how to waltz. I thought I could like him, but then someone in my family asked me if we were dating and I ran away - to the bathroom for 10 mins. This happened a few more times, and every single time I would run away. I was better at that. 

In March 2016 we moved to Uganda. My entire family drove me to South Carolina a couple days before and Alejandro was there to greet us and to help me finish packing. He was there. I called him my best friend to everyone I knew because he was that. We moved to Uganda and transition was hard, it was so hard. Alejandro would come to my room and say, “hey, come outside.” He’d say, “hey, let’s walk to the store.” He would take me to get ice cream on really, really bad days. He was there. Two months into living in Uganda, we hit a wall. Our friendship hit its first giant fight. It wasn’t small. It was big. We didn’t talk for a couple days and we shared a bathroom, so imagine the awkwardness. I knew he was still my friend, we both just needed time. We eventually got over it, but walls were built up. He was still there. We watched Parks on rainy days, went to the alum together every Saturday, he taught me Spanish words everyday, he made me laugh when he knew I missed home. My phone got ripped from my hands and I called Alejandro scream crying from someone else’s phone. He slept on my floor that night and gave me his iPhone to take with me to Italy to visit my family. Time went on, Uganda got harder for me and I called it on my 6th month. My anxiety had surpassed the friendship I had with Alejandro, I had 100% pushed myself away from everything. He tried to take me places and I’d just tell him no. I moved home. 

If you know me you know that I say, “I love you,” to everyone. I said to Alejandro shortly after our friendship started and never got a response. When he dropped me off at the airport to fly back home, we hugged and wept seriously, wept. He looked at me and said, “I guess I love you.” I cried for 2 hours. My youngest sister was with me, she held my hand and kept quiet. I got home and cut off all communication. I knew I needed to, at least I thought I did. It had been two months and I got a text saying, “you’re not overcommitting to things to stay busy, are you?” For my birthday he sent me Parks memes and we’d catch up every now and then. He still understood me. 

Months passed and Alejandro and I would only text once a week, maybe. In September there was a banquet in SC for the ministrywe worked for, I decided to go and take my friend with me. We got there early to help set up. Tony, Alejandro’s best friend was there and he wanted to call him. So he called him, I picked up the phone and heard his voice and my heart quit beating. I said, “hello” he said, “hey playa,” and everything I ever knew about him changed. We caught up and at the banquet I saw all of his friends, his family and after the banquet was over I got in the car with Jordan and said,” I’m in love with Alejandro.” Her response, “about time for you to admit it.”

I called Alejandro and said, “I need to tell you something and it not ruin our friendship.” He promised it wouldn’t. I said, “I’m pretty sure I have feelings for you and that I have for awhile.” He laughed and said, “well, me too.”  We talked for the entire 6 hour car ride home. I got home and realized what I had done and wanted to run away, but I didn’t. 

October came around and my friends were going to Uganda and wanted me to join. I surprised Alejandro. There was a lot of awkwardness to push through. We asked each other if we could hold hands like on day 3, we laughed when it happened. He asked me to be my girlfriend in Gulu, a place I’d waited since 2009 to see in person. He kissed me, but first asked if it was okay. It was a lot of awkward moments, but we laugh at them now. When I got on the plane, he kissed me and we both cried. We FaceTimed often. I was unsure when I’d see him again. He got approved to come home in December, but left before Christmas. ‘Blue Christmas,’ was on repeat. We told each other we loved each other in December, Parks was on in the background. I knew if he didn’t say it then I would. He said it, we both giggled and said - “this is crazy.”

We knew we wanted to get married. We just didn’t know when or what that even looked liked.  We talked about fall 2017, but he came home in February to surprise me. 

We walked through so much to get married. So much. Long distance is hard, but when that person is there everyday that seems a little harder at times. We pushed through, we had great premarital counselors and we fought to get communication on the same page. We got married in May and nothing had ever felt more right. 

On May 20th we will be married for a year. They say the first year is hard, it is. I’m not going to lie. We walked through a very hard season. We pushed through and we fight daily for our marriage. Learning to live with someone sounds so fun at the beginning, until you realize that the kitchen cabinets are empty because he keeps Tupperware in his car and I keep all the cups. He wakes up at 7am and I wake up at 9:30. He’s ready for bed at 10 and I’m not ready until 12. But we’ve learned those things, we know each other and how to handle certain things. Marriage is fun. I seriously married my best friend and I’m so thankful for that. I can be myself. Recently I looked at him and said, “I never thought I’d be this comfortable with someone.” 

It’s the best.