tap into your creative side | written 2 weeks ago

Tonight I was leaving my friends apartment and saw a person through a window of his upstairs apartment, there were string lights all around the apartment and the guy seemed to be working at his desk, in my mind he was listening to Explosions in the Sky and drawing at his desk. I imagined he was being creative and fully pushing into the creative side of his brain that is often stolen due to day to day events. I gave him a back story on my way home, I created this story, that he (this stranger) I only saw for two seconds - was never understood in his teen years and he went to art as an outlet, I think we need that in our lives. I think our brains crave those creative outlets -

Side story: When I was in Uganda I did not really have a creative outlet, finding paint was impossible and my record player broke. I did not have a media team or a writing class. I had my computer and my camera, which was great, but that was partially a job - I never got to see art right in my face. I did not realize how much I missed it until I was in Italy, I was struggling with so many things - but as I walked past a little art museum hidden in a wall full of greenery, I stopped in my tracks to see the beauty that was the painting. I walked inside and cried as I stared at the piece. I literally cried. I had not seen anything like it in so long and my body needed that release, I still cry when I look at the waiting because in that moment, things clicked. Things made sense.

Today I had coffee with a friend who I appreciate so much, so much. He is creative and sometimes is too honest, but he will tell you that - he listens very well and has an awesome taste in music. Today during coffee I talked about this city, I talked about how much it needed people who thought outside the box to stick around. I talked about how I have fought with this city for years now, I never wanted to stay - I was always looking for my way out, my next big move and recently I have found a love for this city. Maybe not a love I have for cities that have awesome bookstores, breweries or coffee shops, but I see the potential here.

I naturally try to be a fixer- its shown true in all of my past relationships (disclaimer: this is in no way degrading the people I had relationships with) I always tried to involve myself in issues that needed to be solved, so here I am in 2016, back in my hometown and not sure what to do. I am have found myself in the mayors office for meetings, I have talked with a lady who is over downtown and I am a part of a team that spreads good vibes around the city though social media. I am also a college student, trying to created a college atmosphere. I am here trying to, 'fix' things - bridge gaps.

Do I want to be in Tennessee in the mountains? yes.
Will that desire grow more as it gets cooler outside? yes.
But will I try to remind myself that I am here for a reason? maybe.

Somedays  I will let the idea of a loft in a city, while I run a non profit and blog from a super trendy coffee shop will interrupt my daily living here - but I know that for now I am going to give this town all my creative juices. I am going to focus on trying to put together a community of people my age, who don't have degree just yet, of people who are creative but are not sure where to share their creativity. I am going to serve the homeless and the less fortunate because they deserve just as much love as my family members.

I am here.
& trying to rest the best I can in this season.