A life that is no longer mine. : Why I Go- Reason #2

Reason #2 Why I Go:

I go because I feel like I am more myself over there than anywhere else in the world. I mean that in the best way possible. The first time I visited Africa, I wasn't sure what to expect. I mean in my mind, I was going to play soccer with kiddos. What happened changed my life. The second time I was going back in search of that first time feeling. What happened was Jesus only reminding me of what parts of my calling were. My third time I was going into the unfamiliar-- co-leading. What happened grew me as a person and as a leader.

I learn new things about myself every time I am there. For example, I learned how to laughed at myself. As you play soccer with the kids or just go on 'walks' around the village, you learn just how unskilled/slow and weak you truly are. Its nothing you can be upset about, you simply just have to brush it off and carry on. Just a warning: when an African man tells you, 'the team will follow me on this short walk and we will visit a family.' He is actually saying, "the team will follow me on this 2 mile hike up a HUGE mountain, while carrying supplies to take to this family---- while I encourage you the entire time." This is a real story, except he encouraged us while giggling the entire hike up the mountain. There were moments on this hike that I ran out of breath. That I questioned if I would live or die and there was a little kiddo holding my hand the entire time, literally laughing at my panting and frequent breaks. But, I just laughed. I didn't care if this kid was making fun of me. Because when I laughed, he laughed even harder. He couldn't speak English, but we were definitely both laughing at the fact that I -- a muzungu (white American) was struggling to catch my breath.

I learned that I really am not afraid to speak up. Another story: One time I was dancing. Yes, that is a real thing. I dance there. I do not dance anywhere in America, unless it is in my kitchen while I clean, or with my preschool kiddos, or in my car. Maybe I do dance over here. But, that wasn't before that first trip. Anyways, back to it, I was dancing and I stepped on my own toe and managed to pull my big toenail almost off. I did this. To myself. I still have no clue how it happened, but minutes later I was on the back of a motto and I was heading to a clinic to get it cleaned up. I hobbled in and the leader of the ministry (who was a native) checked me in and we waited for about five minutes. My name was called and I was escorted back to a room, I was told to sit in a chair and place my foot on the the other chair. I went to explain what happened and I learned very, very quickly that these men did not speak English. Only the ministry leader, who spoke broken English. The next thirty minutes were a whirlwind. I raised my voice, I cried and I shouted 'no' every time a needle was mentioned. Long story short, my toenail didn't make it. Even after my bossiness during the visit, it still ended with laughter and the doctors gathering enough words in English to tell me that I had a 'Rwandan heart' (big heart).

I will try to make this story the last one. When I am in Africa I am a prayer warrior. Seriously, I walk around praying. I wake up praying. I go to sleep praying. I prayed while I was hiking up that mountain and laughing. I prayed while my toenail was about to fall off. I prayed during the rope swing adventure into the Nile. I prayed during our van getting stuck in the mud and us all having to climb out of the front seat door. I prayed when I ate mystery meat. I prayed when I got sick. I prayed when there was a bat in our room. I prayed that something would kill the rooster that woke me up every. single. morning at 2am. I prayed when we tucked little girls into their beds. I prayed when I met Joseani for the first time. I pray every single time I step foot on a plane. I pray aloud. I pray to myself and sometimes I pray in the middle of a conversation. It connects me to people, not only does it connect me to people but it connects people to Jesus. It bring us together. I prayed aloud for the first time while I was on my first trip. I was 19. I was shaky and I don't even think I formed any sentences. I was nervous. I am home now and sometimes I feel like I am praying aloud for the first time, shaky and nervous. But, when I am there nothing stops me. I listen to the spirit. I listen to Him lead me and guide me and I am not afraid.

I find myself wishing that I was like that over here. That I was 'Africa Callie,' when I am home doing the daily routines, but then there are moments when I have to remind myself that I am in charge of that. I can be just as much myself over here as I am over there. I know that I am myself more now than I ever have been in my entire life, but if the person I am over there ever meets the person I am over here. I may implode from excitement.

I go because on that first trip my friend looked at me and said, "I feel like I am seeing a Callie that nobody has ever seen before." I giggled and said, "It's because you are."

I go because I love who I am when I am there.