Tonight, I decided to go see the movie. Alone. I'd be lying if I told you that I walked in there with no fear. I was nervous, sure it's only a movie, but where I live its what everyone does and 'how dare you go alone to the movies.' The only people I know who do it are guys, around here its like a social thing and that, I was afraid of. I walked halfway to the theatre and backed out, I turned around and walked to my car-- only to build myself backup and walk into the theatre. I bought a ticket to see what I've wanted to see for awhile now, "Wild" and walked to my chair. I sat down, knowing that this movie would be good. I also knew that there could potentially be scenes that were unnecessary and scenes that make everyone uncomfortable. But, I knew it would be a story worth hearing.
It changed my life. I know that I say that often in this blog, but I mean it when I say it. I don't know if I will ever forget the film or the emotions that came along with it. I will never forget sitting alone in the theatre not caring about anything in this world, but the story being told on the screen. This woman lives a life that is worth telling, no doubt about it. She lives a life where her father is an abusive, alcoholic, her mother is an angel and she dreams of being a writer. Her mother leaves her father and loves her children so purely. Shortly after she gets diagnosed with cancer and within a month she is gone, only leaving the sibling in their twenties to figure things out. The main character, Cheryl is married at 22 and divorced shortly after her mother dies. She turns to drugs and puts herself in countless terrible situations. She is lost, not sure where to go or who to turn to because she lost the love of her life, her mother. Of course in this moment in the movie, my heart is breaking because I know this is based on true events. You can see the emptiness in her eyes and as she talks to the counselor you can hear her cries, even through a straight face. This would of course be when she needs to be introduced to Jesus, but she isn't- not in this movie. The story continues, she hits bottom and while in a department store she is intrigued by a book about the Pacific Crest Trail. Not shortly after she is leaving, she is going to hike 1100 miles. As she prepares to go you see her start the journey, and you see her turn around multiple times as if she is backing out, but she pushes through. Throughout the entire movie you are following her on her journey. You see her have flashbacks, you feel the rawness in moments. You see her doubt and feel her pain. You watch her find herself.
And that is the best part of all. Every log book she signs along the trail she leaves a quote to encourage others on the trail or a quote that distinctively describes the moment she is in. It's a wonderful film, the shots are great, the music is wonderful, but the story is the best part. It was special being a part of her journey. I am thankful that she wrote a book and that it is now a movie. This movie is not for everyone, I cringed during some parts because of how graphic it did get, but the end result, while she is standing on the bridge she speaks to my very being. She speaks how I write, or at least how I try to write. In a real moment. She lets us know so much in the last 5 minutes of the movie.
I left the theatre in awe of the beauty in the movie. In awe of the fact that I chose that movie to watch by myself for the first time and in awe of this woman who partially became my hero. She overcame her past by being away from everything- I drove home in silence. I thought about he courage it takes to do such a thing, to dedicate so much of your time to 'finding yourself.' I giggled as I replayed me walking back to my car afraid to go into the theatre alone, simply because I watched her do it on the trail-- except her dedication wasn't for a movie in a theatre, it was for a life changing hike. A hike that lasted 60+days, a hike that helped her get over her mothers death, her divorce and her addictions. She kept saying things that her mother use to say, she said they use to drive her nuts, but now that she is in the wild-- she get it. My favorite:
"There is a sunrise and a sunset every day and you can choose to be there for it. You can put yourself in the way of beauty."
I'd like to think that the beauty she put herself in front of was the beauty that only Jesus can provide. There is a conversation that she has with God while her mother is dying, she seems to get frustrated and tends to push him out the rest of the time. Moments like those in movies always make me realize just how much I want people to get it. I want people to understand His love for us. I caught myself praying for this woman, who is still alive today and who's story changed my heart in a sense. I am thankful that she had the courage to hike, to write a book and then watch her life be spilled out onto a big screen where everyone can judge her actions-- But, they didn't, they simply allowed her story to be heard. Sure, there are parts that are unnecessary, but it got a point across. I am sure that it showed people that they are not defined by their past. Being that this movie touched my life-- I can only image what it did to the people who have since watching the movie decided to hike the trail, to find themselves. I only hope they find themselves in the beauty, in His beauty.
I am glad that I went to see that movie by myself tonight, I am glad that I decided to come home after and watch interviews and write about this beautiful story. I only hope to someday write something as beautiful as her courageous story.
"How wild it was, to let it be.”
-Cheryl Strayed
No comments:
Post a Comment