I have tried writing about Christmas at least 3 times and its been tough, simply because this year it didn't feel like Christmas. Maybe it was because all of the Hallmark movies that left me crying, or the weather, or maybe it was the promise to not celebrate until after finals. I am not sure which one it was, but something felt different. Maybe its because I am growing up. With growing up comes the idea of starting traditions. I started one about 4 years ago that I wasn't sure if it would stick, but it has.
Adopting kiddos off of Mama Tina's Christmas Tree, this is for kiddos who wouldn't necessarily get gifts. I did it the first year with my bosses, the second year with a good friend, and the third year with my family. I usually only take 3 kiddos, one for myself and one for each of my sisters. This year however, I got 7- being that our church started an outreach program I brought this idea to the table. It was okay'd and I adopted 3 for church, 3 for my family and one extra little nugget. Something told me to get one more. Not knowing who would get the 4th child, just knowing that he would be taken care of. One week later, I had a friend text me to find out information on how to adopt a child. She said that there were no more kids on the tree at the time, which was such a wonderful thing, but she wanted to have one for her students to help. This is why I adopted the other kid that day. She told me about how her students raised money to provide a Christmas for this sweet little boy. Our church started collecting gifts for the 3 we adopted and my family started shopping. When their name is called you see them jump out of their chair and towards you at full blast. At this point I think I had butterflies as big as theirs. As they get their gifts their faces light up and they smile so bright. It truly is a tradition that I am thankful that was started, I only hope to someday carry it onto my own children lives.
As the festivities went on we had dinner and gifts at Memaw and Pepaw's house. We had too much food and way too many gifts as usual, but we made memories that will last forever. I have a cousin who lost her son this past year due to a car accident and watching her during all of it, opened my eyes to new things. We never really know when our last moment with someone will be, I wish that while we were here that it wasn't all about what we will get for our gifts. I wish it could be just us, as we are loving and serving one another. This only leads me to the actual Christmas Day.
It start with the tradition my mom has held strong to-- Santa. I love him, I love the excitement it brings to the morning. I love knowing that both sets of my grandparents will be sitting on the couch in their pajamas watching us open our gifts, my dad will be standing and sipping coffee, while my mother stands behind the camera, snapping a hundred pictures of our morning hair. I am 22 and I still look forward to this morning. I sleep with my baby sister on Christmas Eve and as Camaryn and I were going to sleep we talked about the future, about if we would still sleep in the same bed on Christmas Eve when we were married, we talked about our future families and we may have heard Santa setting the gifts out one room over. The next morning we shuffled to Caroline's room, because it was her birthday and we all have to walk out at the same time to see the gifts. The morning was great, I got the things I asked for-- but it was like something was missing, I wasn't quiet sure what it was so I took a nap to shake it off. I woke up to have Christmas with Nonna and Nonno. We opened gifts and then it was time to start gathering last minute things for the mission.
This was about to be showtime. The leader of the outreach program had gone out of town only leaving myself in charge--- This was a test. I am not going to lie to you and tell you that I wasn't nervous because I had already made a list in my head of things that could go wrong. The potatoes might not get there, the chicken may not get warmed, what if we don't have drinks, what if no one shows up to serve, what if nobody shows up to eat-- this list can go on, but I will end it here. I knew that I had everyone lined up for their dish, I had things in order but it was Christmas anything could have happened. As I got in the car to head there an overwhelming sense of courage and peace came over me. (Confession: I shy down to certain people, I always have) I was scared of standing up and being in charge of this, but I knew I had to do it. When I arrived there was already a family of 5 standing outside ready to serve, there was a family of 4 already preparing chicken when we walked into the kitchen and within 20 minutes there was an abundance of corn, green beans, rolls, fried chicken, casserole and dessert. There were also 40---- FOURTY volunteers. A friend was running around with a camera so I asked if he could gather us to get a picture before we started serving, a larger lens had to come into play just to get the entire group. As the final touches were being added to the placement of the food it was time to give out jobs and with about 30 of us in the kitchen I yelled over everyone and through a voice that was cracking (due to nervousness) I handed out jobs. These people did not come just to say they did something good that day, they actually wanted to serve. They wanted a designated job, bad. The doors opened and the people came in I watched as the volunteers greeted each person with smile and a huge pile of warm food. Once everyone was served, I stepped out into the cafeteria to see 'the floaters' cleaning off plates, filling drinks, and talking to people. I watched as the musician for the night got interviewed by two little girls, I watched as mommas with young children connected and I watched as a deaf woman, who was serving, and a deaf man, who was eating, communicate. As everyone finished eating, the worship leader started playing. He opened with Rudolph, to get the crown involved, while people finished gathering plates. His next song was about the love of Jesus. Of course, I know that Jesus loves. We all do, but this time it hit differently. As I stood in the back of the homeless shelter and looked around at the amount of people there serving, I grinned. I grinned so big the entire time that my cheeks hurt when it was over.
That night I heard my name said just as many times as a 4 year old says, "momma," I saw a group of people who didn't all know one another come together to serve. That night at the Rescue Mission we had to pull out chairs. We served more people than I have ever seen in there. I stood back in the corner, looked at my co-leader and my grin said it all "this is it, this is all it is about" and that is it. I left with a heart that nearly burst multiple times. However, when I got home it was like the heart that was nearly bursting was being pushed out by a tired, tired heart. I came home and instead of serving more at the house and helping clean the kitchen, like I totally should have, I sat on the couch and watched Home Alone while I reflected on the past two days. Even though the days were not over yet. I know that this Christmas I missed out on opportunities, I took new opportunities and I learned a lot of new things. It was one the best Christmas' so far. I figured out the true meaning of it this year.
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