The Struggle is Real.

It tends to go in this order. One day you are on top of the world it seems, you pray at the drop of a hat, you thank Him for the tiniest things, you see Him in everything and then the very next day its like you're having to cut through fog. Its like you are having to remind yourself that He is here and the He does still love you. Today was one of those days.

I felt rushed, I missed a shower for my cousins wedding, I lead devotion on the conference call and was unsatisfied with how it turned out, I finished the call by talking about spiritual warfare and how hard the enemy is going to try to keep us questioning everything, worrying and doubting our calling. I told the team to cover themselves in prayer, to rebuke the enemy.

&& what happens not 20 minutes later I can't sleep due to the enemy completely trying to attack me. I finally fell asleep and then woke up in a panic, I lost two hours. I doubted everything, I questioned everything, I worried, I gave up. I talked to a friend who seems to be there a lot for me, who is always a phone call away and I questioned 'going off the grid' just to catch a break. But then in a small voice I heard 'Uganda'--

I got off the phone, parked my car and walked around praying, I was quickly reminded of how minor my 'bad' afternoon had been. I was quickly reminded how much Jesus loves me. I was reminded of how much power I just gave the enemy. Power that he did and does not deserve ever. I am a warrior, a princess to a matchless King even and the fact that I let the enemy hold that power over me makes me sick to the thought. I was quickly reminded in just my few minutes of prayer and resting how many promises Jesus has promised me. How many things He has yet to reveal to me. I was reminded about my trip coming up, of those kiddos who face real problems each day. 

I had a reality check and it was a good one. It was powerful and I am thankful. 

"What can wash away my sin?

Nothing but the blood of Jesus

What can make me whole again?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

Oh! precious is the flow
That makes me white as snow;
No other fount I know,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus."