tap into your creative side | written 2 weeks ago

Tonight I was leaving my friends apartment and saw a person through a window of his upstairs apartment, there were string lights all around the apartment and the guy seemed to be working at his desk, in my mind he was listening to Explosions in the Sky and drawing at his desk. I imagined he was being creative and fully pushing into the creative side of his brain that is often stolen due to day to day events. I gave him a back story on my way home, I created this story, that he (this stranger) I only saw for two seconds - was never understood in his teen years and he went to art as an outlet, I think we need that in our lives. I think our brains crave those creative outlets -

Side story: When I was in Uganda I did not really have a creative outlet, finding paint was impossible and my record player broke. I did not have a media team or a writing class. I had my computer and my camera, which was great, but that was partially a job - I never got to see art right in my face. I did not realize how much I missed it until I was in Italy, I was struggling with so many things - but as I walked past a little art museum hidden in a wall full of greenery, I stopped in my tracks to see the beauty that was the painting. I walked inside and cried as I stared at the piece. I literally cried. I had not seen anything like it in so long and my body needed that release, I still cry when I look at the waiting because in that moment, things clicked. Things made sense.

Today I had coffee with a friend who I appreciate so much, so much. He is creative and sometimes is too honest, but he will tell you that - he listens very well and has an awesome taste in music. Today during coffee I talked about this city, I talked about how much it needed people who thought outside the box to stick around. I talked about how I have fought with this city for years now, I never wanted to stay - I was always looking for my way out, my next big move and recently I have found a love for this city. Maybe not a love I have for cities that have awesome bookstores, breweries or coffee shops, but I see the potential here.

I naturally try to be a fixer- its shown true in all of my past relationships (disclaimer: this is in no way degrading the people I had relationships with) I always tried to involve myself in issues that needed to be solved, so here I am in 2016, back in my hometown and not sure what to do. I am have found myself in the mayors office for meetings, I have talked with a lady who is over downtown and I am a part of a team that spreads good vibes around the city though social media. I am also a college student, trying to created a college atmosphere. I am here trying to, 'fix' things - bridge gaps.

Do I want to be in Tennessee in the mountains? yes.
Will that desire grow more as it gets cooler outside? yes.
But will I try to remind myself that I am here for a reason? maybe.

Somedays  I will let the idea of a loft in a city, while I run a non profit and blog from a super trendy coffee shop will interrupt my daily living here - but I know that for now I am going to give this town all my creative juices. I am going to focus on trying to put together a community of people my age, who don't have degree just yet, of people who are creative but are not sure where to share their creativity. I am going to serve the homeless and the less fortunate because they deserve just as much love as my family members.

I am here.
& trying to rest the best I can in this season.

unity.

I moved back to Dothan from Uganda about 2 months ago. When I came home I did not know what this season would look like, I knew that I was back in my hometown - I knew that I had tried to move 5 times before, but I would always get brought back here. I use to hate it, I use to be so ready to get out of this town - but now that I am here I would not be anywhere else.

The other night someone asked me where my favorite place was and I responded with Knoxville, TN. I told him that it was because it was close to the mountains and had a perfect downtown- not too big and not too small. I talked about the coffee shops, the book stores, the breweries. I talked about the life downtown, the community minded people I met while visiting the city. Then I got asked why I didn't move there - I told him I had tried, I looked into school and apartments, but I didn't live there because I am supposed to be here for the time being. I want to turn Dothan into that town that brings community together.

Two years ago I went with a friend to get a tattoo, the night before I watched Pocahontas and I got stuck on the song, "Colors of the Wind." when she says - 'we are all connected to each other, by a circle, by a hoop that never ends.' -- I am telling you the Pocahontas story to build up for the next part. She sat down in the chair and got nervous, I told her I would go first, mind you I had no intentions to get a tattoo that day - I just simply went to watch it happen. I went first, like a plunge in the cold pool, not really thinking that this would be on my body forever.  I told him that I wanted a circle, I sat in the chair and within 3 minutes I had a geometric shape on my wrist.

Throughout the past two years, I think that circle tattoo has been louder to me that any of the others I have. This tattoo has literally been my goal for years now. Growing up, I always tried to bring in people from the outside, I always wanted girls who didn't have families to get a family - so I brought them to my house. I am in no means saying I was a good kid, I still struggled with finding myself. I use to get picked on, I picked on people, I laughed at people, people laughed at me, I got kicked out of playground clubs so I started Flower Power #2 and that invited all the misfits. I dropped it when the original Flower Power group let me back in. Mind you, we were in second grade and did not know anything outside of Spice Girls and Brittany Spears. It was a real big deal, guys. Regardless, tired, key word tried to be friendly and include everyone.

Since 2012, I have been looking for myself for what I would stand for and fight for - it always ends up being the same thing. -people who need love.- With that being said, everyone needs love. Its one thing we all have in common, we all need love and need to know that our dreams are important.  I am saying all of that to say this - I am back in Dothan. I am here, I am here to bridge gaps. Tonight, Brandy (one of the best leaders around) asked me what I was believing God for and without hesitation I said, "I am believing God to use me to bridge gaps between homelessness and the community, and bridge gaps between cooperation and community." That is my goal here. I am currently working downtown with events, I am working for a local paper, I am at meetings, I am talking to people, I am meeting new people, I am interviewing people for Good Vibe Tribe (check it out ), I am talking to people about Through Our Eyes (check it out) and I am trying to be myself, whoever she may be, with every person I meet.

With every dream and vision that I have had recently it has not been anything that I can just run after, each one takes me going out to people, who would typically intimate me and talking to them and that is just what I have done. Has it been scary? HA, YES. Has it been hard? YES. Have I heard the enemy at every single meeting screaming lies? YES. Do I leave every meeting with a smile on my face? NO. But do I leave every meeting with a hope for a brighter tomorrow (I think I quoted Reading Rainbow) YES. I leave every meeting and thank Jesus for everything that transpired.

Today I walked into a new business downtown, I talked to them about my vision with downtown and told them about my idea and they jumped on, they were ready and willing to help me. More details coming with that later.

I am here for just a bit, my life is short, everyones is - so with that I am going to do everything in my power to bring unity to this city, to this community and to the people around me.