last night in the poolhouse

As I start this blog, I have pushed play on my last episode of Friends, I sit on my couch and my cat sits on the bar watching me, my favorite two candles are lit and my best friend sit on my bed charging her phone. Nothing seems different, except the empty poolhouse and the packed luggage that sits by the wall, waiting to be put in the car in the morning.

Today was my last day in Dothan during this season of life. Tomorrow, very early, we pack the cars and head to South Carolina so I can join the team.

This blog will be short because I am not sure how to process anything yet. I think it finally hit me today while I was trying to write letters to people. I broke. I literally looked around and I could not stop reminiscing. I walked in the house and let my daddy hold me while I cried. It was a raw moment, a moment where he told me that, "this was all going to be okay, things will be easier once I get there. Right now it is hard to see past the airport"

Today my childhood best friend came over and we made a memory box -- We've said we would do it since Crossroads came out in the early 2000s. Now she has two kids and I am moving to Uganda and tonight we did it, we both put things in there that meant something to each of us. We laughed and read old school letter we wrote to each other and then we put it in the top of my closet.

Today I had so many special moments. I am always the one to try and create moments to try and remember, however, today I didn't really have to do that. They all came natural. I said, "bye" to so many people. I drove on dirt roads at sunset and I cried and then laughed more than once. I spent extra time with my cat and I just reflected. It was a good day.

A good ending to this chapter. I am forever thankful for this poolhouse. For my momma who helps me pack and who knows how to deal with my stress. I am thankful for my couch. I am thankful for my sweet cat, Joey. I am thankful for my picture wall. I am thankful for my favorite candles. I am thankful for Alabama. I am thankful for dirt roads. I am thankful for my car. I am thankful for Uganda. I am thankful for change.

This blog was all over the place. I am all over the place, but I have a peace that surpasses all understanding and that feels the best. Jesus has given me more peace than ever before.


&& for the next 30 minutes I will finish the final episode of Friends, take the pictures off my wall, I will wash my face-brush my teeth- put on my pjs and then tuck my best friend in one more time in the poolhouse. Then I will crawl into my bed, wait for Joey to join me and then we will fall asleep. Tomorrow morning I will wake up and say bye to my sweet cat and to the house we lived in.

This will not be easy, but it will be worth it.