Last night my family drove me to Tallahassee. We took up two rows at the church and as I looked around at my family, they were all watching the show with tears in their eyes, not at the show being sad, but at the thought that I'd be leaving them soon. My momma kept smiling at me, my two best friends held my hands, my Pepaw winked, my dad whispered question and my Memaw gave me a little grin through the entire show. The second the show was over children ran to me with arms open, hugging me, jumping up and down all while saying "auntie Callie you are staying with us", sweet Noami cried as she hugged me, I looked up while we were in mid hug to see my entire family staring back at me. In that very moment I felt their blessing. When it was time to say bye to my family, it was harder than I thought it would be. Throughtout the entire last week I didn't think it'd hit me hard-- it did and it hit hard. I'm not going to try to sugar coat it. I didn't want any hug to end. I didn't want to see them drive off in a different car. I hugged my momma and as she walked off I turned into the kindergartener I once was and yelled "momma" just to get one more hug. I got in the car to head to the host home and held back tears. Thank goodness we had Joshua in our car, he laughed at his own jokes which only made me laugh with him.
We arrived at the host home and a blow up mattress it was. I will never forget that blow up mattress as long as I live. I left most of my tears there im pretty sure. When the lights went out and the reality set it, it was real. I was in a strangers house, with people id only known for just a few hours. I laid there feeling so scared of the unknown, feeling so alone. Then it hit me, I'm not alone. These are the moments I feel alone, but I am in fact not alone at all. Actually, Jesus felt so close in that room last night that I cried even harder. The first night wasn't a joke.
The next morning we had breakfast and packed the car to head back to the church where our vans were. When we arrived at the church the thought of being alone had vanished from my mind when 18 Ugandan children ran to me saying "good morning, auntie"-- they fought over which van I was going to be in. I got put in the red van, with Darya. She is from Ohio and our friendship flourished quickly. The van ride was 6 hours, we talked the majority of the time.
I can't give you a play by play of each second today, it would take hours and we have to be up at 6:15, but I can tell you that I learned so much today. To list a few things: my heart loves the interstate. It also loves when trees are planted in straight lines. The mountains make me want to hike for days. My past is part of who I am, it does not define me but it got me here. Cold chicken nuggets will become a normal meal for lunch. And pizza will be dinner. Three 15 passenger are hard to park at small gas stations. Learning 22 people's names when they already know your name is intimidating, you try it. Picnics at rest stops are my new favorite thing. People really don't know much about Uganda. A choir sings ALL the time. They sing parts of their conversations im pretty sure.
Today I felt the Callie that is in Africa. The one who isn't afraid to be herself, the one who isn't afraid to look like a fool. The one who run and skips. While loading the car today I had Wilbur under my arm and we skipped to the car, tonight I played soccer in the gym with Rebecca and didn't care who saw me play terribly. I will get better at soccer before I am gone. I tried to learn dance moves at the Rest Stop and I smiled so much that my cheeks hurt.
Tonight on the bus I sat with Charles, he is a chaperone from Uganda-- he is such an encourager. As he encouraged me, he said that God picks passionate people do His work. He picks people who might be scared, but they are passionate. He knows that I am here for a purpose, that God has something to teach me so he placed me here.
I am here. I don't feel so alone the second night. There is a pet cat upstairs. I am sharing a bed with Angela, a chaperone from Uganda. I tucked two little girls into bed and Misty and I said goodnight prayers with them. 'Thinking Out Loud' is playing from the bathroom while someone showers. And I made a phone call home. I know I will get home sick. I know some days will be tough, but I am ready to embrace this. To live life passionately and not be afraid of it. I am thankful that Jesus opened this door
P.S. Im going to try and take a picture of the sunset each day. The style of the blog may change. But hang tight. I also may not be able to post everyday but I will try as often as possible.
Chatsworth, Gerogia
No comments:
Post a Comment