Homesick

As I sit in my hammock in a city in the middle of nowhere, I'm homesick. Today will mark the tenth day I've been on tour. This would also mark the last day of a mission trip if I were overseas. I would know deep in my spirit that I get to go home tomorrow and there would be a bit of joy and sadness. Today isn't easy, the enemy has tried getting at me all day. If it's not me thinking that some kids just don't want me here, then it's the idea of being homesick. It's just been a tough day.

I know this will pass, I know that it will. This morning I caught a glimpse of the sunrise through sheer zebra print curtains (we are staying in a 14 year olds room) and I was reminded in that second that Jesus loves me. I laid back down for the last few minutes I had  before my alarm and felt loved. I got dressed in the bathroom with three preteen girls and then I fixed their plates for breakfast. I felt my purpose this morning, i knew it would be a good day, but now I am here in my hammock away from everyone to regroup. 

Darya is a chaperone on the trip and she always asks how I am feeling. I get the question often, usually it's a quick Im doing great; however, today I said "I'm okay" she knew I wanted to be home. She explained Sundays were the hardest because you are at another church that isn't your own. You have to say good morning to people you don't know and watch them greet one another because they know each others lives because they simply live life together. This was tough this morning because more than anything I wanted to be greeted at my church, to hug my sweet children at preschool and to eat lunch with my best friend, Jordan.  

Then there are moments on concert days when everyone is walking around the church, everyone is doing their job- cleaning up lunch, washing dishes, setting up sound equipment. We all pass one another and lift our eyebrows, it's a greeting. We don't use our words our eyes say it all. It's something that I know I will miss when I am home. Then there are a million hugs a day, a million. Another thing I will miss when I am home.

I know that being homesick is okay, I know that. But today I need prayer, I am only 10 days in and my sister sent me a snapchat of my family all eating breakfast together and I wanted to be sitting at the round table at Memaw and Pepaws, but instead I watched children whom I love so much sing their hearts out for jJesus during pride and worship this morning. 

Do you see my dilemma today? I am going to chill in my hammock for a bit to get past this because I have to comfort little ones who get homesick at some point.