I have been nervous about this. I have replayed everything that could go wrong. But this morning when I woke up I went over everything that could go right. I thought about the kiddos and their bright smiles, I thought about some of my team members who have never been on a mission trip. I remember my first one-- I was a nervous wreck even as the plane took off, but got there and knew that I was stepping into a part of what Jesus has for me. So im praying that over this team.
I don't want this trip to be just another trip. I want to focus on the people, not on me. I want to love those kiddos in a way nobody else has. I want to look them in the eyes and say 'you're beautiful'-- I want to hear the stories from the team, but most importantly I want to feel my creator in ways I've never felt him. I want to embrace each moment, feel the moment and take it in forever.
Every time I get ready for these trips I have moments of fear, of course who wouldn't? But I have there thoughts of losing people while I'm gone. I don't have a phone while I am there, I don't have social media so im out of the loop, which I kind of enjoy. when these negative thoughts sneak in all I think about is a previous team member, Janet. It was my first trip and she roomed with me and another girl. She was quiet but took things in, I remember her talking about how much she was ready to be in Uganda- I remember her listening to Free Willy- I remember her losing her luggage and having to borrow clothes but was so humble about it- I remember the moment she found out that her sister passed away in a car accident. I caught her, physically. She didn't know what to do so she just cried. Within 5 minutes our entire team (that were spread out throughout the hotel) were on the cold ground in Rwanda holding and praying overJanet. In that moment we were no longer strangers like we were 4 days before. We were family. The most pure form of family.
That night as the three of us went to sleep there were moments in that room that are too beautiful to share. Moments that I will carry for the rest of my life. The next day we went to the orphanage in Rwanda before taking Janet to the airport. I watched her all day. She held it all together, she came up to me at onepoint during the day and said that some random kid handed her a bracket that was her sisters favorite color. She said she felt her their with her. When it was time to tell the kids bye, she couldn't let go. She knew how it felt to lose someone so she didn't want those kids to feel the same emotions.
The three hour ride back down the mountain was incredible. It was our little family, me, my friend who traveled with me and my roommates. We all sat on thefront row and listened to "free willy" while Janet used each of us as a pillow. We just listened to her, we talked, laughed and played questions. When we arrives at the airport, she told us that she wished she could have stayed to see Uganda. It was why she came to Africa.
Janet boarded the plane and the team knew their was a duty and that was to embrace Uganda like Janet would. Take pictures for her, live it out for her. She couldn't be there for important reasons but there were moments in Uganda that it was like she was there. Worship under the pavilion, I was looking for her. When the showered quit working and the power went out, looking for her. I missed her and she missed us but most importantly she missed her sister.
So there are moments that I think about how I would deal if something happened while I was gone, but I end those thoughts by thinking of Janet and how she didn't think something was going to happen to her sister, but it did. & Janet took it the best way she could.
I will be in Uganda within the next 24 hours and I have thought of her almost everyday leading up to this trip. I have not talked to her in a while. But to Jeanet, you are stronger than I ever imagined myself being. You are thought of often and you are with me on this trip.
I am thankful that Jesus placed her in my room. I am thankful that I can think of her and know her strength. I am still so thankful for that team who became family. I am thankful for the team who is currently heading towards the airport to fly out. I am thankful for the simplicity of Africa. I am ready to be there. && just embrace it.
Thank you all for reading. I will post of I can while I am gone--if I can't I will were a book when I get home.
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